10 years ago I was newly married and had very little clue about what was ahead when I turned 30. I assumed the best was yet to be as I dreamed of being a wife and mother.  I didn’t mind turning my back on my childhood and 20s and looking forward. I was excited and I felt ready for a new life. Thank God I wasn’t permitted to peak around the curtain of what lain ahead. I think when we beg God for hints of the future it is his grace that lets us down gently when he doesn’t answer. I know that now. There are some things we just can’t know because it would hurt too much to carry. 

You can learn a lot in 10 years and I honestly hope the lessons I’ve learned stick around. Here are just a few:

-Babies become children very, very quickly. Every sappy post or sign you’ve read about “Lightening Fast” is 1000% true. They just grow up and you are powerless to slow it down.

-Diagnoses when it comes to your children will strip you raw. I’ve walked through life changing illnesses, behavioral challenges, and sensory issues. I’ve watched my children in therapies and selfishly wondered why my kids had these challenges when others didn’t. I still don’t have that answer but I must hold tightly that I was chosen to be their mom for a reason bigger than me.

-Marriage is super hard but it’s still a super fun sleepover with your best friend. I’d choose the hard all over again as long as Jeff was with me.

-Friendship changes big time in your 30s. Gone are acquaintances and lighthearted gatherings. Nobody has time for that. You want real and the real ones care about your issues, answer midnight calls and commiserate with you about adult acne. 

-Your body tanks, well your metabolism does anyway. If you aren’t working out and eating right 3-4x a week, it reveals itself quickly. So you fight the battle of losing your old body and wanting to do “better tomorrow” or just wanting to eat the dang pizza and cheese dip. Some days are positive and some days aren’t. This is a work in progress to love myself. 

-You will watch your family members and friends get divorced and it will hurt. You’ll want to make it right and wonder if you could have helped but really all you can do is hold their hand and try not to say anything stupid as they navigate their own hard. 

-Family is EVERYTHING. My mother and sister are my lifelines and I do not know what I would do without their phone numbers because I call…a lot. Sorry guys, but I love you so much. 

-Anxiety and depression are the most powerful beasts I’ve fought. I’m still fighting. I hate it so much but I’m not giving up. Celexa is a game changer though! 

-Counseling is really the only way to go. If you aren’t paying for a best friend that desires you to be the most authentic you and calls you out on your BS…well you’re doing it wrong. 

-Sometimes you join a multi-level marketing business and it doesn’t work out because you’re an introvert and you should have known that.

-Careers are hard. I am walking into my 40s feeling like I really don’t have one. Should I have one? Am I missing out? I think I like helping people and that’s been enough for me. The pressure of “What do you do?” is big though and it really shouldn’t be. Just be you.

-I feel like I’m tired all the time. The overwhelming pressure of wife’ing, mom’ing, cleaning, working, maintaining relationships is unbearable at times. It’s soul sucking. Self-care is vital and I forget this all the time.

-Your relationship with God gets pretty serious because your issues get pretty serious. Sometimes its talking all the time and sometimes it’s just quiet. I’m learning being quiet with God is more than ok because He knows you’re tired. He’s content to sit with me so I am too. It’s a deeper and richer relationship. Once you realize he’s really the only one that gets you…you fall in love all over again.

These are just a few things I’ve learned. You can’t really pack 10 years into a blog post, but these are some of my highlights and lowlights. I pray I’ve done my 30s well because gosh I loved you. You gave me my greatest blessings and hardest moments…so thank you. 

40s: you have big shoes to fill but let’s keep it light and fun. 

Peace,

-Kate